GNU-LINUX: THE OPERA

The next November 19 it will be held in Helsinki the world premiere of "Gnu-Linux: The Opera," which, as its name suggests, is a musical composition in which an action is dramatized. (If any reader knows as little as we do of these issues, we suggest him to visit the following wikipedia entry: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Opera)

In this case the action dramatizes the birth of the Linux operating system in the same city by his countryman Linus Torvalds. Another informal definition of "opera" is "musical form in which the tenor (the principal male singer, usually) wants to bring to his bed the soprano (not a U.S. mafia family, but the main female singer) but the baritone wants to prevent it". This scheme gives an idea about the problems lyricists and arrangers have faced, who have had to include an ethereal appearance by Lady Ada Lovelace  at the end of the work to satisfy the desire for leadership of the star of the company. Regarding  male performers, tenor voices have been reserved for Linus Torvalds and Richard Stallman while, this time following the classical scheme of baritone voices assigned to evil and / or powerful characters,  Bill Gates, Steve Ballmer and Steve Jobs will fill the auditorium with deep voices able to scare everyone.

In order to satisfy the huge number of linux users who happen to be also ballet lovers it's also been included a beautiful scene where two dozens of dancing penguins surround a gnu (apparently to satisfy Stallman supporters) while the chords of an orchestral version of the famous free software song sound. It had to be included, no matter what, and here it is:

GNUDE-LINUX, THE NUDIST CAMPINGS MANAGEMENT DISTRO

The Ampurdanic Nudist Campings Association has left for downloading via FTP the distro Gnude Linux, oriented to the management of such establishments. Based on the already venerable Danish distribution Skagen - X, which used Gnome as window manager and included a template to be used with the spreadsheet program Gnumeric containing a minimal form to score guests, Gnude Linux has followed the highest standards in the development of nudist applications that sets N² (Nudist Network)

This association gathers programmers who focus their work in customers related to nudism and try to meet their demands. Since the nineties, when Helga Kasgessen, owner of a nudist laundry in Roskilde (Denmark) required that the software that was being developed for her for noting and invoicing  to be run in a MS-DOS computer should be programmed too by naked people, a lot of standards has been created in this field.

In order for an application to meet the standard N² - 1, the most basic one, it has to be developed by a person (or a group of persons) wearing underwear as much. In this sense the consideration of bras as underwear has provoked bitter controversies, and in similar way, the possibility that the application could be tested by an outer company with employees wearing clothes raised angry comments about  the bug hunting as a part or not of the software development cycle. Both controversies ended at the International Congress of Nudist Informatics held in Tulku (Finland) in 2003 with the banishment of bras and non-nudists external companies (unlike with the requirement that the software requirement analysis phase was completed too with no clothes, a decision that has been very contested and considered to be imposed by the heavyweights of the nudist software industry, who want to be able to send clothed consultants to customer companies)

The standard N² - 2, more radical, denies the possibility of any clother during the whole software development process, although the version N² - 2-B allows wearing socks (but not stockings or panties) Its final breakthrough, N² - 2 even prohibits setting one's feet on a carpet. Some alternative versions included the requirement, in a challenge to the repression carried out by the patriarchal society on sexuality, of not using  hands to programme, but genitals, but many nudist Windows programmers refused accomplying it because of the impossibility of pressing Ctrl + Alt + Del only with genitals.

Gnude-Linux, although has probably been developed in a 98% by dressed programmers (it's estimated that only 2,35% of the Gnu-Linux code has been written by naked people and just about 6,23% of it with genitals) has been rebuilt from scratch by diplomate engineers who did not wear a gram of cloth on their bodies (one wore glasses, another one lenses and a third  one brackets, which is not considered cloth even in the most Taliban groups of nudism) and even did it stepping on a Terrazzo floor just in a case a purist blogger wrote that stepping on a parquet floor contravenes the spirit of nudist Informatics.